Sanitary
napkins.
Simple things,
right?
Nope! A very big
deal in India.
I remember when
I was still in school, my mother used to buy them for me. I never ever bought
them because I had no idea how to ask for them to a male shopkeeper. After
school I moved to a different state for my graduation and was living in hostel
and I had to buy them myself. Most of the time I will tell my friends to buy if
they went out and if I had to buy, I will make sure not to go to the same shop
again for a very long time. And it was not just me! I remember some of my
friends used to bring six months’ worth of sanitary napkins from home so they
don’t have to go to the shop to buy them. During high school days, when someone said
they bought their own pads, she would get the respect of a hero that day!
And this is so
because menstruation/period is made a big deal. The hush-hush attitude has
made it a taboo topic! I never knew about it from my mom but my friends.
Fathers are not even part of any dicussions that remotely concern it!! Since I got my period, I was never allowed to
go anywhere near a temple during those 4-6 days because it is a sin. Before I
got my periods, I have seen my mother would not enter the temple in our house
for few days every month and me or my sister had to do the puja. So when I asked why, she would
always say she was sick when she was exactly the opposite! Yeah, Hindu Gods are
too touchy about it I guess. I wonder about the Goddesses though! Don’t they
get their periods? If they do, are they moved out of their own temples during
those few days? And if they don’t, doesn’t that mean they are sick? I would
really like to know the answer but then again, whom do I ask about it? The
priests are all male and if i still do, I will make sure I won’t be allowed
inside temple premises for the rest of my life!
Actually, if
that was all to it, I would have understood but it’s the hypocrisy that stings.
As soon as a girl is born in an Indian family, no matter how educated or rich
or modern they are, parents do think about her marriage. And the whole
institution of marriage is about reproduction more than anything else, right? Because
I see whenever anyone gets married, from the very next week all the aunties
starts asking the girl ‘Are there any good news?’ I don’t understand, even if
there was, how was it so “good” to many of them but more importantly, the guy
never gets asked such questions! Anyways , if the girl doesn’t get her periods, how
will “good news” happen? And would we even exist if our mother’s ovaries were
not functioning? But most importantly, a girl getting her periods regularly
means she has a good health. So why would any educated person be ashamed of the
signs of good health of their mother, sister, daughter or aunts? And why would
you stop her from going to temple or entering the kitchen without taking bath
or numerous other “don’ts” I don’t even know about when you should be
celebrating it?
Am I getting too
personal for some people’s taste? I am not sorry if I am though, because
it is something we need to start having open conversations about. I know India
is a land of hypocrites and when we can’t have sex education in schools being
the second most populated country in the world, I really don’t expect things to
change soon. But I believe our generation is changing and may be, things will
be different in the next two or three decades. But things are not so good right
now because, just yesterday, I went to the shop to buy sanitary napkins
and when I asked for it, the guy next to me moved away from me (all the
customers and the shopkeepers were men)! May be he did that to give me privacy
but I don’t like being treated like I am buying drugs when I am buying
something more important than the pack of cigarettes or packet of chips they
were buying. I wouldn’t have talked about something so personal in a blog so
public if it was a onetime thing either. It actually took me a lot of thinking and courage to put it online but I really feel I need to do it. And anyone who has bought sanitary pads knows how it is. The shopkeeper will first wrap the pack in newspaper and then
in black polythene or brown paper bag and then hand them in a
transparent/translucent plastic. Don't believe me? Watch this: Sanitary Pad is Shame? : Social Experiment. They take more caution selling sanitary
napkins than they take selling booze to underage people! If that is not
infuriating, what is?
Sadly, I still am not comfortable talking about
periods to my mom or sister. Hypocritical may be, but I am just programmed that
way now. It is not something that should be that way. This is a physical
phenomenon as simple as breathing. As long as you are breathing, you are OK,
when it stops, something is wrong. And believe me, we don’t enjoy it either and
would rather not have it but the body of a woman is not made that way and so we
put up with all the uncomfortable feelings, stomach cramps and mood swings. Simple
things should be kept simple. If not talking about it could make it go away, no
one would be happier than me. But it won’t. So let’s call a spade a spade and
periods normal. I am not asking much. Just don’t stare or move away when I am
buying sanitary pads. They are not drugs and neither is the condition
communicable!
